Just thinking (thought I'd change the title)

I've noticed lately that I have this funny little issue with commitment. Now I say "funny little," so I can speak lightly about it. I think I've been pretty good at avoiding true commitment. You may laugh, because I have been and am very commited to my husband, children, and church. But sometimes I wonder, am I really putting my heart into this? If not, why not?

I've decided that I'm a bit of a people pleaser. In defense of myself, I really do love people. I want to get to know and love as many people as possible. I want to make people happy. The problem comes when my motive for pleasing is selfish. When I want to please in an effort to make someone like me. Which means, that my seemingly strong commitments can change in relation to the person I'm trying to please. Not always the case, but sometimes. Wow, not a lovely confession.

How can we learn to truly love others, just for the sake of loving? How can we truly have a generous spirit? I'm convinced that habit plays a far larger role in our life that we realize. Maybe the answer to most questions is practice. Practice loving someone while avoiding all thoughts of how your nice treatment of them will benefit you. If I think of it all as practice, it doesn't seem so daunting. I'm not going to read my scriptures everyday, I'm going to practice at a good reading habit. I'm not going to be charitable to all I meet, I'm going to practice at charity. I'll start with my kids. Good practice. Sorry little bunnies, but you provide the best practice for all good things in life. I have better faith, love, and charity because I have practiced on you. I have faith, Miriam, that someday you will remember to flush the toilet, I will lovingly remind you, and I will be charitable with your forgetfulness.

Practice means I'm alone, I'm not being judged, I progress at my own pace. It also implies that there will be some performance or test or day of reckoning, but sometime in the future. When I'm ready, after I've practiced. Or maybe not, it will come whether I've practice or not, so I better get started now or I'm going to have some scary moments in the future.

My Muse

Nothing inspires me to do housework more than the feeling that I ought to sit down and do some writing.

First Eat

If I don't really like cereal, why do I keep eating it every morning? This morning: herbal tea, banana, boiled egg, and a roll. Mmmmm. Yummy. My morning went a lot better with this in my tummy instead of the usual blah cereal I eat. Maybe I need to branch out in the kids of cereals I buy. What are some of your favorite breakfast foods?

Monday

So far....
~Woke up
~fed the munchkins
~cleaned the kitchen
~washed some towels
~made a lunch for Miriam
~got her off to school
~filled out preschool worksheets with Sam.
~posted a blog

Need to......
~clean smelly cupboard (previous home of a grey mouse-death by shoeing)
~fold clean towels
~vacuum
~go grocery shopping
~try to avoid treats (crap! I've already had two starburst and an oatmeal, chocolate chip cookie)
~do something interesting (any suggestions)
~learn hope, love, charity etc. amidst the mundane.

Just another Monday morning.

Garden Cooking

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What do you do with garden fresh tomatoes and green apples?

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You make a pie, of course.

And it was delicious!

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