There is such an odd connection between the famous and the regular. Those who are famous publicly show us such intimates sides of themselves. We see them cry and laugh and fall in love. We see them cheat and lie and hate. While they may only be acting out the characters in a story, there is something of them in each movie. When we seem them as their "regular" selves on a talk show, we can picture them with tears on their cheeks, with fire in their eyes, and with love on their lips. We can hear their voices as whispers, shouts, and in song.

We picture them in scenerios and with emotions that we have only seen with those to whom we are most intimately connected. So a bizarre sort of psuedo-relationship is formed. One in which the famous person can never fulfill. They can never be what someone watching them wants to be. They will always disappoint, disgust, anger, etc. While the regular person is constantly connecting with the famous, more so than with the people who are actually in their lives, the famous never really connect back. This can't be healthy for either sides. How did we get ourselves into this? More importantly, how do we get ourselves out of this?

Is "just for pretend" ever really real or are we always acting out some form of truth? How do we let truth in without letting fame, money, and glamour get in the way. Can there ever be a healthy relationship between the performer and the audience?

I feel like I have to be really angry to have something worth saying. As I read through other blogs, there is such anger and discontent. Everyone is really spittin', yellin', cursin' mad. It's funny how people use swear words. They feel that to express their anger adequately they have to throw in a "hell" or a "damn" or the dreaded "F" word. What does all this anger accomplish? Why does an artist have to be suffering?

It seems like the key to pop culture is to embrace darkness, anger, and hatred. Instead of reaching for enlightenment our artists and intellects are clouding the truth with gray relativity. They are turning from light and attempting to block others from the clarity it provides. The most bizarre part about this, is that they are being praised for this. For lying to us.

Languor

Ah, to do nothing. My kids are sleeping, which means I could get a lot accomplished. I could clean, do laundry, read, work on Miriam's quilt, get ready for sharing time......... I just want to do nothing. Maybe it's because of the humidity. This is my first experience with humidity. It feels so good on my dry skin. My body is just soaking in the moisture. Soaking in. Maybe that's why I just want to sit here. I want to soak in the day. Feel the warmth of the air, listen to the birds, and watch the green trees sway in the breeze. It feels so good to finally have Summer begin. This attempt at trying to do something--write-- when I don't really want to isn't working. I've just written fourteen sentences about nothing. Now fifteen. While it isn't good to be lazy and slothful, it can be good to just do nothing. It can be productive, can't it? To just relax and breath and enjoy a quiet moment. I'm going to say "yes" because right now, all is right with my world.

Stones and Bread

I love the trees in Zion's National Park. They jut outo f impossible places. Some grow right into the rock. It's as if they don't care that there is little soil. They suck any life from the rocks. They make me think of Miss Firecracker who could always "take it in the chin."
Life can thrive in the most unlikely of places. There is such greatness in someone who rises above horrible situations or hardships.
"Or what man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone?" (matt 7:9)
Some really are given stones when they needed bread, but somehow they defy all by finding nourishment from the stone . . . even if it's just from the warmth the stone absorbed from the sun.
How is this possible? Is it because they know to take the stone and then turn to the true source of nourishment?
". . . my Father giveth you the true bread from heaven. For the bread of God is he which cometh down from heaven, and giveth life unto the world. Then said they unto him, Lord, evermore give us this bread. And Jesus said unto them, I am the bread of life: he that cometh to me shall never hunger; and he that believeth on me shall never thirst." (John 6:32-35)

"Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me; and none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost." (D & C 50: 41-42)

Dedicated to Amber

I have read about blogs, but have never really read a blog. My dear Amber gave me the address to her blogspot and I was inspired to start my own. I am thankful for Amber because her example has inspired me to reach out. I'm thankful because it is only through reaching out that we can find ourselves. I sometimes feel a little lost. The mundane things in life tend to make me feel that I am mundane. I don't have to only see myself is that dishwasher, nose wiper, cooker, cleaner..... As I reach out to others I can realize that those are the things I do as I become something far greater: a mother, a lover, a giver, a hand-holder.... Thanks Amber and to all really true friends who are willing to hand over their vulnerable parts and hope that you will remember to love and that maybe you will share your vulnerable self in return.